i'm trying a new method in order to just let things be and not get upset. i think of things that either hurt me or just ergh me and well i just visualize them gliding off of me. i take a breath and don't let them in. i just get tired of fighting myself and feeling bad for my feelings. i can't help but dislike certain qualities. i can't help but be sad about things. i can be so judgemental and i hate that in me but it strikes something deep within me.
i don't understand the superficiality of people, of life. smile and talk about the stupid stuff. then i think about all those people who talk about the important issue and quote the new york times. they all seem just so fake. they have no thought of their own they throw up the same garabage that they have been fed by their corporate media. our many causes have already been predetermined by society. what is the point of it all?
i have to say that i don't really like people. i haven't come to terms with that. i still want to believe in the good. i do think it is there but it is buried under so much crap that all i see is a tiny glimmer of it. i'm starting to feel nausea. it comes and it goes but i guess sooner than later it will stay. i should have always know i was a stranger. i just don't really fit in anywhere.
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